Race for the Cure October 2 in Vinoy Park, St Petersburg, FL

Yes, I am walking the 5K. My friend, Lee Bice, is walking with me. I joined the St Anthony's team, since that is where I was treated and I feel I know them so well. I hope that was proper protocol. Guess I'll find out. Below is a link to my Race page:

Race for the Cure

I guess I better start training.

Melatonin 4mg isn't working for me. I still wake up after 3-4 hours but I am groggy. Sigh. I heard there is a time-release one so that will be my next step. Sigh. I really need to get some sleep. It's killing me slowly.

Melatonin is a wondrous thing

I finally got a shrink appointment for next Tuesday and I took the advice of friends and started taking 2MG melatonin before bed since Tuesday. Believe it or not, I actually slept 6-8 hours each night!! The nice thing is, it is natural and even can kill cancer (although the therapeutic dose is 30MG...I would be a zombie with that much in me). Fingers crossed.

Another interesting thing. I stopped eating peanut butter as peanuts are estrogenic. But Wednesday, I ate two slices of toast with crunchy peanut butter and noticed my stools were less watery. ??? Did the same yesterday and actually went 24 hours with no bowel movements! Not since March has that happened. So peanut butter is on the menu for a while.

My cousins Cindy and Mike are coming today from Texas. My mom's 80th birthday is tomorrow and I am taking her (and everyone) to the Rays game. It is a concert series night so after the game is Adam Lambert. Should be fun. She doesn't know my cousins are coming so that should be a great surprise for her. AND Marty 's band is not playing until Sunday afternoon at the St Pete Pier so he can come. Sunday will be fun, too.

Not sleeping...not good

You know, it's never good when you can't sleep and I have probably 3-4 nights per week where I fall asleep fine then am awakened either by diarrhea or dreams of breast cancer. Ugh. Don't know which is worse. Those nights, if I manage 3-4 hours, I am doing great. I toss and turn for 2-3 hours then surrender and get up.

I think I figured out that I am suffering from PTSD. This whole BC thing is very stressful and the thought that never leaves you is "What if it comes back?" Anyway, I took the bull by the horns and called the American Cancer Society and asked for a referral to a breast cancer shrink. They called me back three days later (good thing I'm not suicidal) with a phone number for a Dr. Jimmie Holland. I Google her and her website is basically promoting her book on how to deal with breast cancer. She is in NY so I can't see her. I suppose they will press me to read the book then I will feel all better.

So called the onc to get a referral. They called back and said they had a shrink on staff in the onc practice and they would have her secretary, Mary call me. This was at 10 AM. It is now 5 and no call. Again, good thing I am not suicidal.

I recently had a genomic assay done to see how I metabolize various drugs. Can't take anti-depressants. Pain killers need to be administered at 1/8 the dose otherwise, I am gone for 24 hours on 1 pill. Plan to take the test results to the PCP so I can ensure he checks this before Rx-ing something.

A fine mess I am, eh Ollie?

Here we go again

Well, visited PCP doctor Monday about the diarrhea and told him I had no faith in the gastro doc since he could have killed me. He suggested going to see him to find out why he wants me on the steroid, since I do not have IBC or Crohn's. After we get the answer to that, I can switch gastros (got a great reference from a coworker) and keep on trucking.

So I go see him this afternoon. It'll be interesting to see if he treats me with kid gloves (like everyone in his office since the RX screw-up). I guess with this being a litigious society, he should be worried. I won't sue him because everyone screws up but I hope this serves as a wake-up call for both him and his staff (who should have doubled-checked his order).

All in all, feeling OK if I could only get the diarrhea solved. But I am feeling very depressed and short-tempered. From what I have read, these feelings are most likely PTSD. Sigh. Another doctor. But I really need to address it, as it is getting worse and worse. I'll make an appointment for next week.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!