Not sleeping...not good

You know, it's never good when you can't sleep and I have probably 3-4 nights per week where I fall asleep fine then am awakened either by diarrhea or dreams of breast cancer. Ugh. Don't know which is worse. Those nights, if I manage 3-4 hours, I am doing great. I toss and turn for 2-3 hours then surrender and get up.

I think I figured out that I am suffering from PTSD. This whole BC thing is very stressful and the thought that never leaves you is "What if it comes back?" Anyway, I took the bull by the horns and called the American Cancer Society and asked for a referral to a breast cancer shrink. They called me back three days later (good thing I'm not suicidal) with a phone number for a Dr. Jimmie Holland. I Google her and her website is basically promoting her book on how to deal with breast cancer. She is in NY so I can't see her. I suppose they will press me to read the book then I will feel all better.

So called the onc to get a referral. They called back and said they had a shrink on staff in the onc practice and they would have her secretary, Mary call me. This was at 10 AM. It is now 5 and no call. Again, good thing I am not suicidal.

I recently had a genomic assay done to see how I metabolize various drugs. Can't take anti-depressants. Pain killers need to be administered at 1/8 the dose otherwise, I am gone for 24 hours on 1 pill. Plan to take the test results to the PCP so I can ensure he checks this before Rx-ing something.

A fine mess I am, eh Ollie?